Hey Dick,
It’s been too long since we last spoke! How’s the wife doing? I heard that she was working at Lens Crafters on work release. My son Lester just found out he won tickets to the Meatloaf Laser Light Show at the planetarium; he got so excited that bit his own tongue off! There was blood everywhere again! Speaking of blood, remember the time we went to Camp Peeno and got high on those pills we found in the street? I can recall just how salty your lips tasted…so salty.

Anyways, the family and I are headed up to the city for some good old fashioned rape. We’ll be back in 3-5, so hit me up when you’re in town. I found a wonderful recipe for diabetic empanadas, I’m sure you’ll like it. Also, I got that picture of your toes you sent in the mail; just an FYI, when they get black like that, they usually just fall right off.

Oh well, I’m off to put some pickles in my wife’s oatmeal if you know what I mean!

Your courageous ex-cellmate,
Boris Gorman