Mr. Harold,

We’ve recently gone back into the archives for some original commercial ideas for the new Klondike Bar/Hot Pockets crossover next quarter. Here are a few of the “what would you do…?” questions we wanted your opinions on:

Would you eat an entire tub of Country Crock with a skeleton hand?
Would you stand on your head…and then get peed on?
Would you forcibly break your own kneecaps?
Would you lay naked with my vibraphone?
Would you jump off a five story balcony onto a crowd of Indians?
Would you wrestle a salad bar?
Would you reject the notion of any transcendent reality or being and understand that every man is his own master?
Would you take this handful of colorful pills I have right here?
Would you punch your favorite grandparent in the neck?
Would you get gang banged by the Blue Man Group?
Would you pipebomb an orphanage?
Would you throw a spear at a comatose panda?
Would you sell all of your worldly possessions for a hook shaped dildo?

We’ve deemed some as unacceptable and others we are still considering. We would like to know your thoughts.

Martay Johaanssonn
Head of Marketing Executive/Executive Marketing of Head