Tis the season for allergies, and head-colds. So on the rare occasion that I take a day off to half sleep on the couch getting ripped on Nyquil….the magic commercial box stays on. Here are a few things I’ve learned from this experience.

    - I will die soon, and I need life insurance.
    - I need the essential Weird Al Yankovich CD.
    - Spanish soap operas are only tolerable with a head full of NyQuil.
    - NyQuil cures just about everything.
    - Only in God can I find hope to overcome my sickness.
    - I might suffer from joint pain and osteoporosis.
    - I should probably take legal action now…for whatever I want.
    - I probably have high blood pressure.
    - I am probably depressed.
    - Everything in my apartment is filthy, and should be cleaned using wetnaps.
    - I should be taking approximately 37 different prescription drugs.
    - John Corrzine is a douche bag.
    - Mayor Bloomberg is not the man for the job.
    - I will have more friends if I scent my apartment with candles and heated chemicals.
    - I am probably grossly overweight.
    - Again..I need to take legal action now.
    - I am completely wrong with every lifestyle choice I have made thus far.
    - Everything is available for only a short time.
    - Supplies are limited.
    - I should call now.